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Soon after Hollis Mosher III got his first MSN email
account he was so touched by all the wonderful people
sending him email from all over the world, that he
just couldn't be ungrateful by not taking them up on
all their kind offers.

"He really appreciated," said Mrs. Mosher, "that all
these people in far away countries like Saudi Arabia,
Hungary and Nigeria, would take the time to write him
and let him in on all these great deals."

Though Mr. Mosher was away on one of the thousands of
free Florida vacations and Bahama cruises he'd won,
Mrs. Mosher was gracious enough to take time out from
her busy schedule of mortgage refinancings to speak
with us.

"That's my 20th refinancing today," she said, stuffing
the paperwork in a drawer, when we arrived shortly
after noon. "Did you know that mortgage rates have
never been lower!! We win and the banks lose!!"

But it hasn't been all wine and roses for the Moshers
since they went online.

"At first," Mrs. Mosher told us, "Hollis' enormous
breasts seemed a little incongruous next to his huge
cock, which, of course, was constantly erect from all
the Viagra those nice professional pharmacists in
Kenya, Estonia, and Tajikistan kept sending him for
half off the normal price, not to mention from all the
thousands of 30-minutes free lesbian-animal porn chat
rooms he was always being invited into -- but thanks
to all the Propecia he got for 30% below retail from a
sweet gentleman in Albania, the hair that grew all
over his body covered most of it up."

According to Mosher, her husband had answered over
30,000 penis enlargement emails and used all the
products religiously, but mostly out of courtesy and
so as not to give foreigners any more reasons to hate
Americans. "He cared a lot more about international
relations and not hurting peoples' feelings than about
having an enormous penis," she said proudly.

Despite that, it was her firm belief that the only
reason he'd religiously used all the 45,000 breast
enlargement products he'd ordered, was a direct result
of being high all the time on the HGH and other legal
herbal marijuana substitutes he'd been sent at a
fraction of the cost of real marijuana, and because he
was so busy setting up all the free merchant
mastercard accounts for all the online businesses he
was starting, to supplement the income from the 35,000
work-at-home jobs he'd gotten, (not to mention hanging
all the college degrees he'd been awarded and
laminating all the international UN drivers licenses
he'd been issued and publicizing all the .tv and .us
domain names he'd registered for life at half price),
that he just never noticed his breasts growing to be
the size of watermelons.

Mrs. Mosher however was still sanguine about it
all. "Thanks to the millions of dollars we've saved
from all these mortgage refinancings and from having
people in Bulgaria and the Congo endlessly
restructuring our debt," she said, "when that email
with an unbeatable offer for some great new breast
reduction product comes through, we'll definitely be
ready to afford it."

--------------------
People are like pieces of a puzzle. We all fit together, but not all of us connect.

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