geplaatst
Netscape already did it and now Microsoft has done it. The source of Windows 98 available for everybody!
/* TOP SECRET Microsoft Code Project: Chicago(tm) Projected release-date: Summer 1998 Original version date : Aug 1994 */ #include "win31.h" #include "win95.h" #include "evenmore.h" #include "oldstuff.h" #include "billrulz.h" #define INSTALL = HARD
-------------------- "Je bent ondersteboven, als je neus loopt, en je voeten ruiken!" - LPChip "LPChip zegt tegen LPChip: Ben ik gek?" - LPChip Berichten: 325 | Plaats: Jupiter | Geregistreerd: Jul 2002
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void main() { if (latest_window_version>one_month_old) {
if (there_are_still_bugs) market(bugfix); if (sales_drop_below_certain_point) raise(RUMOURS_ABOUT_A_NEW_BUGLESS_VERSION);
} while(everyone_chats_about_new_version) {
make_false_promise(it_will_be_multitasking); /* Standard Call, in lie.h */ if (rumours_grow_wilder) make_false_promise(it_will_be_plug_n_play); if (rumours_grow_even_wilder)
{ market_time=ripe; say("It will be ready in one month); order(programmers, stop_fixing_bugs_in_old_version); order(programmers, start_brainstorm_about_new_version); order(marketingstaff, permission_to_spread_nonsense); vapourware=TRUE; break;
} switch (nasty_questions_of_the_worldpress) {
case WHEN_WILL_IT_BE_READY: say("It will be ready in", today+30_days," we're just testing"); break; case WILL_THIS_PLUG_AND_PLAY_THING_WORK: say("Yes it will work"); ask(programmers, why_does_it_not_work); pretend(there_is_no_problem);
break;
case WHAT_ARE_MINIMAL_HARDWARE_REQUIREMENTS: say("It will run on a 8086 with lightning speed due to" " the 32 bits architecture"); inform(INTEL, "Pentium sales will rise skyhigh"); inform(SAMSUNG, "Start a new memorychip plant" "'cos all those customers will need at least 32 megs"); inform(QUANTUM, "Thanks to our fatware your sales will triple"); get_big_bonus(INTEL, SAMSUNG, QUANTUM); break; case DOES_MICROSOFT_GET_TOO_MUCH_INFLUENCE: say("Oh no, we are just here to make a better world for everyone"); register(journalist, Big_Bill_Book); when(time_is_ripe)
{ arrest(journalist); brainwash(journalist); when(journalist_says_windows95_is_bugfree) { order(journalist, "write a nice objective article"); release (journalist); } } break; } while (vapourware)
{ introduction_date++; /* Delay */ if (no_one_believes_anymore_there_will_be_a_release) break; say("It will be ready in",today+ONE_MONTH); }
release(beta_version) while (everyone_is_dumb_enough_to_buy_our_bugware)
{ bills_bank_account += 150*megabucks; release(new_and_even_better_beta_version); introduce(more_memory_requirements); if (customers_report_installation_problems) {
say("that is a hardware problem, not a software problem"); if (smart_customer_says_but_you_promised_plug_and_play) { ignore(customer); order(microsoft_intelligence_agency, "Keep an eye on this bastard"); } }
if ( bills_bank_account>skyhigh && marriage>two_years ) { divorce(woman_that_was_beatifull_when_I_married_her); wave(dollars, at_lusty_chicks); marry(young_blond_virgin_with_big_boobies); devirginize(young_blond_virgin_with_big_boobies); if (boobies_start_to_hang) dump(young_blond_virgin_with_big_boobies);
} if (there_is_another_company) {
steal(their_ideas); accuse(compagny, stealing_our_ideas); hire(a_lot_of_lawyers); /* in process.h */ wait(until_other_company_cannot_afford_another_lawsuit); buy_out(other_company);
} } /* Now everyone realizes that we sell bugware and they are all angry at us */
charge (a_lot_of_money) if (customer_says_he_does_not_want_to_pay_for_bugfix) say("It is not a bugfix but a new version"); if (still_complaints)
{ ignore(customer); register(customer, big_Bill_book); /* We'll get him when everyone uses Billware!!*/ } }
-------------------- People are like pieces of a puzzle. We all fit together, but not all of us connect. Berichten: 6985 | Plaats: Zeist | Geregistreerd: Jul 2002
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/* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.1"); */ /* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.11"); */ /* printf("Welcome to Windows 95"); */ /* printf("Welcome to Windows NT 3.0"); */ /* printf("Welcome to Windows 98"); */ /* printf("Welcome to Windows NT 4.0"); */ printf("Welcome to Windows 2000");
if (system_ok()) crash(to_dos_prompt) else system_memory = open("a:\swp0001.swp", O_CREATE);
-------------------- People are like pieces of a puzzle. We all fit together, but not all of us connect. Berichten: 6985 | Plaats: Zeist | Geregistreerd: Jul 2002
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