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Goedzo?! NiMS Forum » Cafe » Humor » Grappig verhaal: The Aging process

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Auteur Onderwerp: Grappig verhaal: The Aging process
LPChip
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GEORGE CARLIN'S VIEW ON AGING

If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging
that you think in fractions. "How old are you?" "I'm four and
a half!" You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a
half, going on five!

That's the key.
You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump
to the next number, or even a few ahead. "How old are you?"
"I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be
16!

And then the greatest day of your life . . . you become
21. Even the words sound like a ceremony . . . YOU BECOME 21.
.YESSSS!!!

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you
sound like bad milk. He TURNED, we had to throw him out.
There's no fun now, you're just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong?
What's changed?

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40.

Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you
know it, you REACH 50 . . . and your dreams are gone.

But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you
would!

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.

You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's
a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

You get into your 80s and every day is a complete cycle;
you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime.

And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going
backwards; "I was JUST 92."

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you
become a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!"

May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight
and height.
Let the doctor worry about them. That is why you pay him/her.

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches and complainers
pull you down.

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts,
gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. " An idle mind
is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath
and your stomach hurts.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only
person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE
while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family,
pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home
is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is
unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get
help.

9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next
county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every
opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by
the moments that take our breath away

ENJOY!

--------------------
"Je bent ondersteboven, als je neus loopt, en je voeten ruiken!" - LPChip
"LPChip zegt tegen LPChip: Ben ik gek?" - LPChip

Berichten: 325 | Plaats: Jupiter | Geregistreerd: Jul 2002  | Rapporteer dit bericht aan een Moderator
   

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